Mother’s day as a single parent

I try to not constantly write whiny posts as I know it gets boring and self-pity is an ugly trait to have, but I don’t write to appeal to the thousands, I write  as an outlet for myself and hopefully for those who can resonate so they know they’re not alone. Unfortunately I have another one coming as Mother’s day as a single parent can be hard going and I’m feeling it. I’ve had the feeling of isolation again lately even without this and it’s really becoming a major issue for me; the more I feel isolated the more I isolate myself through lack of self-motivation, if that makes any sense? And with Mother’s day coming up I can’t help but want to curl up and hide for a few days.

Mother’s day is a great day, I love that we get to spoil the mother figure in our life, whether it be our actual mother, adopted mother, our single dad, our grandmother or even a sister. I’d like to hope that while not everyone will have their mother, they will all have had the pleasure of a mother figure. I do feel for those who have lost their mother figure and I appreciate it can also be a difficult day for them. 

Why am I feeling isolated? Single parenting again of course… While I talk about the positives of single parenting (there are a lot of them, don’t get me wrong), there are definite downsides, this occasion being one of them. I won’t get any presents, I won’t get a lie in, the chance to have a warm cup of tea, have someone to cook my tea or a day off from housework. The day will be the same as any other for me… I will be up at 6am as every other day and having to sort the washing and the dishes from the night before (when I plan to spoil my mum to her Mother’s day meal). 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that my days are bad or even difficult, it’s just a little isolating knowing I have to get through it on my own. I don’t want thanks and glory for being a mum, I just want to know that someone is there for me, know that someone wants to look after me from time-to-time.

I don’t think I would’ve felt as lonely about it all had the last few weeks not been hard on my own… Firstly I’ve had the dramas from his nursery to deal with and then he’s been well so I’ve been stuck in the house with him alone for a week, it would be nice to have someone come home to us at the end of each day and ask how we are, make a cuppa and just give me some company when J goes to bed. Neil comes every now and again but in the meantime it’s just me and J, and I think he gets bored with me!!! 

If you read my blog often you will notice that any ‘holidays’ or commercial days are a trigger for me, I don’t like them and I find them hard to deal with. I don’t mean to piddle on everyone else’s parade and I hope everyone out there has a lovely Mother’s day! I myself will be making the most of the time with my boy and giving myself some TLC, and I will hopefully squeeze some extra cuddles from him which makes everything perfect!! 

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36 thoughts on “Mother’s day as a single parent

  1. Life as Mum

    Oh bless you. I spent Mothers Day as a single parent for two years when my first daughter was born. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Have a lazy day and try to enjoy it :) You deserve it.

  2. lisagraham1

    You should think of something fun to do together and go out and celebrate anyway, even if it’s just a nice walk outside and some yummy ice cream. It must feel lonely but I’m sure you and Joshua can still have a fun day x

    1. Ally Post author

      Thank you, you’re so right though! I’m defo gonna enjoy my day with him and try and get as many cuddles as I can, and I think ice cream is a sure way of doing so! x

  3. Janet Mohapi-Banks

    I’m a single Mum too and I’ve realised that I have to treat myself with the love that I deserve. For Christmas, Father Christmas got me a lovely stocking, on Valentine’s Day I bought myself a bottle of my favourite champagne and this Mother’s Day I’ve given the children money to buy me a gift. My two are older than your J so I know he can’t go shopping, but maybe you could ask him to paint you a special picture to celebrate Mother’s Day, or maybe you could take him out Saturday and let him pick a bunch of flowers to give to you. Let him know that it’s a special day for you and be super kind to yourself.
    Take it easy. X

    1. Ally Post author

      I love this! Why should we not give ourselves some TLC?! I’m going to treat myself to a little pamper session when I can and a bottle of wine! x

  4. Kerry norris

    I’m sure you’ll have a lovely day together but I can see where you are coming from. I bet it would be so lovely for you to have a break. Even if it was just to go for a coffee. If I lI’ve closer I’d treat you. I’ve just come to the end of being along with my 2 kids for 7 weeks and that was hard enough. You’re an amazing mum, doing an amazing job. Enjoy lots of cuddles on mothers day xx

    1. Ally Post author

      Such a lovely comment, thank you! I know I’m not the only one in this boat and that others have it much more difficult, I’m just going to enjoy the time that I do have with him and look after myself when I can x

  5. Amanda (@OurWildThings)

    Oh bless you. You’re not piddling on my parade though – my partner works at sea and is away this Mother’s day, he was also away for Christmas too and it is hard coping on my own so hats of to you for being such a fab mummy xx

    1. Ally Post author

      Oh wow, that must be really difficult for you, you actually have someone to miss! I hope you still manage to get the mother’s day you deserve, rest when you can. We all deserve this day for some TLC, whether from loved ones or from ourselves x

  6. Our Seaside Baby

    I feel the same but I’ve realised you just have to make the most of what you’ve got. And in a few years time our little ones will be making us breakfast in bed (hopefully haha). This Sunday I’m going out with other single parents for a mother’s day lunch. Wish you lived nearer so you could join us! Is there anything like that going on near you? If not, don’t think about the day too much & enjoy cuddles with little Joshua. There will be loads of mothers, single or not, spending the day with just their kids :) xx

    1. Ally Post author

      That’s such a lovely idea, I wish I had thought of something like that to organise! I’m going t take him for lunch I think, treat us to some ‘us’ time and when he goes to his dads later on I’ll give myself a little pamper session I think; face mask, wine, chocolate! x

  7. hijackedbytwins

    I remember mothers day as a single parent well huni. I was on my own with Joseph for nearly 6 years. Back then I used to just have a mummy and Joe-Joe day as we called it. We’d chill out, eat treats and have a movie. Hope this year is ok for you xx

  8. Alice

    It’s a tough one and I totally can relate. I think my mum has stepped in and taken on the present buyer role with Amelia which is so lovely. But you should do something together some baking or some crafts or enjoy a special day out and treat yourself!:) it’l be different when he’s older zx

  9. Fiona

    I hear ya. I’ve spent most Mother’s Day as a single mother and it sucked until I realised that Mother’s Day is just another commercial day that only really benefits Hallmark and florists. Don’t let a made up commercial day upset you whilst you’re a single mum. Carry on as normal and when your son is old enough he will start treating you to breakfast in bed and all those other lovely things you deserve X

  10. Jo of Jo's Kitchen

    Hugs. Relax as much as you can. Put on a DVD and snuggle under the covers together and have a glass of wine once he is in bed. You deserve it! I have no idea how single mums do it all so you go girl! You rock!! xx

    1. Ally Post author

      Thanks Jo! It’s tough but it has its advantages! I love your idea of loadsa snuggles though, I’ll be doing that! Happy mother’s day to you! X

  11. Oana

    Mother’s Day can be such a trigger, just like Christmas and other commercial dates in the calendar. I have no advice for you and I can only imagine the loneliness you speak of. I hope Sunday will be lovely for you, in spite of it!xx

  12. Kerry (@Ohsoamelia_blog)

    I hope you’ve had a lovely day and plenty of cuddles. It’s understandable to feel that way. I was wondering what to expect too, im glad i still get on with the kids dad and we still exchange presents and cards so it feels like a normal day but there is always something that does feel different from previous years xx

    1. Ally Post author

      It’s nice to hear you still have that kind of relationship, healthy for the kids. I didn’t ever really get anything even when I was with J’s dad tbh. We get ourselves through it so we should treat ourselves, cuppa tea and chocolate in peace in the evening! x

  13. Tanita

    Sorry to hear you have been feeling like this Ally. But don’t think so bad of yourself it must be hard as a single mum. I think you have had some great words and support in your comments here. I know when I feel isolated I push myself to get out and just go get a coffee in the coffee shop, or walk around the lake and feed the ducks those things really just put everything into perspective for me and allow me to enjoy the day for what it is regardless of the challenges I may be facing. Sending you hugs and hope now you are feeling a lot better x

  14. Alex Lamb & Bear

    Oh Hun I can understand how hard it must be on days like Mother’s Day when your little one is too young to spoil you. Even some of us with partners on Mother’s Day don’t get spoilt! I made my own cuppa… 😉 xx

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